Jul/Aug 2012, Pg 21
Wabi Sabi Singleness
By Arielle Ford
“How much longer do I have to WAIT for my soulmate?”
This is the biggest complaint I hear from so many single men and women. Those that have read my book, The Soulmate Secret, and are actively seeking to manifest the love of their life, often ask me if I can share with them the secret to speeding up the process. They tell me they are tired of waiting, wishing, hoping and yearning for the day the One will arrive.
While I DO know and believe that we can consciously manifest the love of our life into our lives (I’ve done it as have thousands of my students around the world) we don’t get to choose the speed at which it all comes together.
“Savoring the waiting,” I believe, is an important part of the process….this is where we get to really enjoy our last days of being single, a time where we can relish the journey and joyfully anticipate our soulmates arrival.
You can choose to allow yourself to feel desperate and alone or you can choose to feel happy and blessed. One way to adopt the “happy and blessed” mindset is to understand the ancient Japanese aesthetic known as wabi sabi which honors all things old, worn, weathered, imperfect, and impermanent. In fact, it seeks to find “beauty and perfection in the imperfections.”
You can now choose to adopt a wabi sabi perspective to your final days as a “single”
Think of it this way: when the seeds of a flower have been planted in the ground and the first leaves begin to sprout, the gardener does not tug on the leaves every day to make the plant grow fast. He trusts that Mother Nature will play her role and then when the time is right, the flower will blossom. Like a gardener, you have planted a seed and invited love to unfold in your life.
WABI SABI LOVE:
The Ancient Art of Finding Perfect Love in Imperfect Relationships
Another benefit to practicing wabi sabi is that it will become infinitely beneficial once you are with your beloved. I call this the practice of Wabi Sabi Love.
Why would you take the time to learn how to apply Wabi Sabi Love to your relationship? Because 50% percent of first marriages, 67% of second marriages and 74% of third marriages all end in divorce! We aren’t born with the innate knowledge of how to “do” relationship. Even worse, we’ve been brainwashed by modern day society to look for and seek perfection, which leads to an ongoing state of frustration and dissatisfaction.
In truth, we all know that perfection is not possible. But with Wabi Sabi Love we can come to appreciate our own and the other’s imperfection, and can actually experience a more natural state of grace than we thought possible.
By learning and practicing Wabi Sabi Love you begin to accept the flaws, imperfections, and limitations – as well as the gifts and blessings – that form your shared history as a couple. Acceptance and its counterpart, understanding, are crucial to achieving relationship harmony. It’s is sacred love, the highest form of love, and like most things worth striving for in life requires patience, commitment, personal responsibility, and practice. Imagine how great you will feel when you know your partner loves all of you, all the time? The good, the bad, and everything in between!
My soulmate of fourteen years, Brian, and I credit the success of our relationship to applying Wabi Sabi Love to everyday life.
If you are ready for more love, fun, harmony, and passion in your relationship, I encourage you to download the first chapter of Wabi Sabi Love for free at www.wabisabilove.com
Arielle Ford has spent the past 25 years living and promoting consciousness through all forms of media. She is one of the founding partners of the Spiritual Cinema Circle, a DVD club dedicated to providing movies about love and compassion. She is the author of seven books, including the Hot Chocolate for the Mystical Soul series, The Soulmate Secret: Manifest The Love of Your Life with The Law of Attraction, and her newest book, Wabi Sabi Love. Ford lives in La Jolla, California, with her husband/soulmate, Brian Hilliard, and their feline friends.