Meeting your Soul Mate is one of the most worthwhile things you can do. We wake up every morning knowing that we are two of the luckiest people in the world to be so in love. Everything we learn about life reinforces that knowing. If you have not yet experienced such a connection, you have something wonderful to look forward to.
The media is filled with stories of the most famous, accomplished, beautiful, rich, and powerful people who seem to have it all, yet who can’t fully enjoy their success because they lack a Soul Mate to share it with. But believe us—if you put your efforts into becoming yourself fully and do your best to realize your potential and find out who you are and what you are capable of, you will become the kind of person your Soul Mate will want to meet and stay with.
Secret: Soul Mates work on their relationships by working on themselves. You know you have found your Soul Mate when you enjoy just watching your partner live, and you desire to make your partnership work and to be there for each other in every way.
When we last dated, back in 1974, the most hip, cool, and attractive thing you could be was yourself and as far as we are concerned, that hasn’t changed. It is a logical way to go about meeting your Soul Mate. If you are yourself, then only people attracted to the real you will present themselves for your consideration. However, it is easy to see that if you are one of the above-mentioned famous, accomplished, beautiful, rich, and powerful people, or even a lesser version of them, you might attract people to you who are after other things besides the real you.
What advice can we offer that works for everyone, even those who are not only blessed with the gifts of this world but are also besieged by suitors after you for all of the wrong reasons? First, make sure that you read the “How Not to Find Your Soul Mate Checklist”. In fact, some of you celebrities, the ones who believe your own press, had better commit it to memory!
The How Not to Find Your Soul Mate Checklist
We are often surprised to hear people describe themselves as looking to get married. It is as silly to us as saying you’re looking to make a hundred million dollars; it can happen, but there is a lot that has to happen first.
These people let their desperation and anticipatory fears get the better of them. After only a date or two, they start talking to their friends about whether or not they are going to marry this person. Sadly, they do not see how unrealistic and self-defeating this kind of behavior is. Even if these musings are never revealed to anyone, that hurry-up kind of attitude can kill a relationship in its early stages, unless you happen to have found someone also desperate to get married.
Even then, I would not give such a marriage a good chance of becoming enchanted. Keep your eye on the prize of building a great relationship founded on caring, thoughtfulness, friendship, and mutual support, and love, marriage, and great sex are sure to follow.
Here is the “How Not to Find Your Soul Mate Checklist.” On it are most of the silly, fear-based things that people do that limit opportunities to find their Soul Mate. You may want to add a few things to it, based on your own experiences.
1) Do not let anyone know how much or how little you are interested in him/her, romantically or otherwise. If he/she figures it out, deny it.
2) Do not let the topic of conversation stray away from you. Make it clear that all you think about is yourself by not paying any attention to other people’s words, deeds, or body language.
3) Do not forget to be abusive, ignore everyone’s feelings, complain constantly, and be critical of everyone and everything. Show that you are greedy, impossible to please, and love saying mean things about people behind their backs.
4) Do not fail to judge potential partners by your own list of must-have traits: looks, money, job, family, status, religion, size, shape, hair, color, and so forth. (You know, the list that has gotten you into your present situation dozens of times!)
5) Do not avoid talking about who you think is “hot,” or about your previous marriages and romances, if any. Do not make eye contact with your date but instead look at any other attractive or important people who are anywhere near you.
6) Do not fail to act superficial, bored, and indifferent about the talents, accomplishments, and interests of your possible new Soul Mate. Show that you feel that people who are totally committed and passionate about anything are naive if not total idiots.
7) Do not apologize if you are late or for anything else, even if your actions have obviously hurt the person you supposedly love. Make sure you never, ever forgive him/her or let him/her forget any of his/her mistakes.
8) Do not like your potential Soul Mate’s pets, beloved family, or close friends. Even better, make it clear that you like them a little too much.
9) Do not fail to act jealous and possessive and be sure to tell your potential Soul Mate you want to control his/her behavior and change him/her for his/her own good.
10) Do not tell the truth to your potential Soul Mate. Do not care if he/she sees you are a pathetic liar, a scheming phony, or have no idea what is real, who you are, or how you feel about anything.
11) Do not forget to mention how the two of you should get married and have children when you are on one of your first (and soon to be one of your last) dates. If you have children already, the choice is yours: either do not mention them at all or talk about nothing else.
12) Do not forget that getting drunk or otherwise stoned will make the preceding eleven “Do nots” easier, and as a bonus, will show your potential Soul Mate you are seriously troubled and trying to escape from reality!
13) We would be lying if we told you that we never manifested any of these behaviors before or during our courtship, and that our relationship progressed on a straight line toward enchantment. We were exploring our opportunities and our powers, just like people have done since the human race was created, and we were sometimes a bit clumsy at it. More than a few times, it looked like we would not move closer than our fears and bad habits would allow.
The How to Grow a Soul Mate Checklist
Now, as to meeting a potential Soul Mate, it’s not about where you go—charity functions, bars, the Internet. In other words, it’s not about what you do, it’s about how you do it, how you act, the kind of energy you send out. Where you go to meet people is irrelevant. Taking this advice “magnetizes” the right person to you. Use these checklists to discern who you do and don’t want. Begin to act accordingly, and see what happens.
Secondly, after you are certain that you or your potential partner are not manifesting any of those odious behaviors in the “How Not To Find Your Soul Mate Check List,” try manifesting all of these:
1. Never take each other for granted. Show how lucky you feel to know each other and make sure to spend as much time together as possible. Work together, if you can. Giving little gifts for no special reason will delight your partner and yourself!
2. Treat each other as equals. You may not have the same background, looks, talents, connections, power, or potential, but you are two halves of the same team. Act like it.
3. Always compliment each other on good qualities and do it several times a day. If you like the way he/she looks, smells, or makes you feel today, say so.
4. Have concern for each other’s total welfare, even if it causes you to reverse yourself on some long-cherished notion. Make the other person’s needs as important as your own. Once you have determined that you have found your Soul Mate, you can make his/her needs more important than your own. Don’t worry—you will want to do so.
5. Be kind. Really listen to each other’s words, and try to understand each other’s position. Do not assume that you know how the other feels. Ask when you want to know something. Never refuse to communicate.
6. Get to the root of anger, frustration, anxiety, and fear. Learn to tell when you are the problem and when you might be the solution, and try to be the solution more often than the problem.
7. Always show how happy you are to see each other and smile, even if you are in the middle of hearing the most annoying news. Remember, you are each the most important and powerful thing in each other’s lives. Everything else is secondary.
8. Forgive each other and mean it. Have the courage to be imperfect. Admit it when you are wrong. Assume that you could be wrong, even when you think you are right; it is not as hard as it sounds.
9. Always use criticism carefully and constructively. Do not demand change from anyone but yourself. Do not demand change from anyone but yourself. It’s important enough to say twice.
10. Share and explore your fantasies, dreams for the future, and the dreams you awaken from. Never go to sleep angry. Making up can do wonders for your ability to sleep soundly.
11. Compromise whenever possible, especially on matters of taste. Eat the same food so your breaths will smell the same. If that is impossible, do not eat foods or wear scents, styles, and colors that offend your Soul Mate.
12. Keep a positive attitude and a sense of humor, especially about yourself. No matter what happens, if you two are together, relatively healthy, and your bills are paid, laugh at the other stuff.
If your potential partner resists these twelve rules for Soul Mate nurturing, or if she or he does not treat you with the same caring and kindness, you will have to tell her or him. Don’t give up on her/him if she/he makes an effort to change after you gently and tactfully make her/him aware of your concerns.
However, if you can’t discuss your concerns with him/her because you think you’re unable, unwilling, or if you fear his/her reaction, you must face the fact that you may not have met your Soul Mate just yet. If you had, you would both find a way to work things out; Soul Mates always do.
Internationally known self-help author Monte Farber’s inspiring guidance and empathic insights impact everyone he encounters. Amy Zerner’s exquisite, one-of-a-kind spiritual couture creations and collaged fabric paintings exude her profound intuition and deep connection with archetypal stories and healing energies. For more than thirty years they’ve combined their deep love for each other with the work of inner exploration and self-discovery to build The Enchanted World of Amy Zerner and Monte Farber: popular books, card decks, and oracles that have helped millions answer questions, find deeper meaning, and follow their own spiritual paths.
Visit their website: http://www.The EnchantedWorld.com
Or write to them at: The Enchanted World Box 2299, East Hampton, New York USA 11937
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