Love isn’t like a Hallmark Card. It isn’t the egocentric perception that we are less than or better than anyone. It begins with us. Many of us have a secret self-loathing that haunts every moment we exist and every decision we make and every interaction that we have. Most of our relationships have some sort of agenda in which we secretly think that we need something from the other person or we have hidden expectations the relationship will be a certain way.

Many of us think love is as it is portrayed in the media: an ooey-gooey romanticized relationship that isn’t real. What no one ever tells us is that if we don’t truly love ourselves and find our inner perfection, no one, will ever treat us any better than we see ourselves. In our childhoods we are continually told that we are imperfect. We are told we should strive to attain our purpose, with each achievement being part of a score that is kept of our accomplishments. Yet, no one tells us what our score has to be to win, just that we have to do it. So we grow up thinking and believing that we are never enough. Because of that we begin to doubt ourselves, often apologizing for being who we are or worse, stepping out of life and its situations that challenge our self belief.

In order to become fully present in the gift of life we absolutely must shed the idea our value is based on anyone else’s opinion. Yes, everyone we encounter is a mirror to us of how we really feel about ourselves. But what they portray isn’t our value, it is what we love or abhor in ourselves. In order to surpass all of these notions that keep us stuck in our tracks, unhappy and unfulfilled, we absolutely have to understand what love truly is. Love is a state of being. That’s all, a natural state of being. True love isn’t based upon anything except the self-acceptance that we are perfection no matter what. It is about learning to know ourselves beyond the illusions we have accepted from others. It is about learning to speak our truths safely and completely without feeling threatened or delivering self defensive messages. True Love is a state of self balance and comfort. So how do we get there?

First of all it is about getting to know ourselves without all of the excuses and justifications we have used over the years to make ourselves believe we are doing just fine. Learning to tell ourselves the truth can be one of the hardest things we have ever done. One way to know when we are out of truth (integrity) with ourselves is that we hold our breath in situations in which we are not comfortable. The next thing that happens is that our chest or midsection tenses followed by tension in our upper bodies, neck and shoulders. All of these symptoms are signs that we are not ok with what is going on. Beyond all of these things is a simple truth. Self-love depends upon self honesty and knowing what we really want or need. What do we love? Do we really know?

Our self defensive tactics have blurred the lines between what is perfection to us and what is unacceptable. It is time to remember. What we must first love is ourselves, to look inward and find any and every positive thing that we can find. To do this we must realize that we are indeed part of a greater whole, holding a unique place in all of creation in such a way that without us nothing else could exist. Does his appear to be an existential perception? No…it’s reality. We are harmonically attuned to all of creation, as we exist. Our harmonic frequencies identify us and maintain the reality of who and what we are in any given moment. We are created of the original light that was dispersed in the moment of the beginning as that light organized to become the us that manifested as incarnated matter. No one got more than anyone else. We all got the same stuff with which to work.

Finding true love is really about reaching inside of ourselves and touching that very light which resides in our cores. It is there, in every one. When we close our eyes and breathe deeply, sending our consciousness way inside of us, the first thing we notice is darkness. This is the area of all possibility, the not yet manifested, the yet to be created part of us and our journeys.Beyond the darkness, if we allow our consciousness to continue its travels, the next place that we come to is light. All light. The same light as our Source, Creator, God, or whatever you want to call it. That light contains all perfection and the infinite possibilities that our souls have to choose from in our journeys. As we touch it, every cell in our bodies begins to remember the truth of who we are. We are each an expression of creation living in a tactile body to experience the depths and heights that life has to offer us. How we choose to react to those experiences is just that: a choice.

All of our perceptions including how we see ourselves are based upon choices we have made in every moment to accept, justify, quantify, excuse, learn, understand, grow, resent, or whatever else we are doing in that moment. Look again. What is your part in it? Did you have an expectation of a certain outcome and are now disappointed? Did you believe another person could give you something that you didn’t have, or if they did a certain something it would somehow benefit you?  There is nothing that anyone can do for you that you can’t do for yourself. But first you must love like you never have before.

When we begin to see and experience ourselves, by getting to know our true selves, we begin to experience a completely different existence. We begin to experience the very perfection that we sought all along. And others begin to respond. We literally emit new and different vibrations of energy when we exist in self-love. More, we become much less vulnerable emotionally and mentally. If we are aware of our inner selves, our strengths and our perceived issues then no one else can hurt us there unless that is the perception that we want. We become free.

Free of damage, present in the Now and able to look beyond the obvious, past the illusion and into the perfection of every given moment. We become light in our bodies, clear in the journey of our souls and positive in our lives. Simultaneously, our creative process leaps beyond the impossible and into the infinite. And we love more. And we see others for exactly who and what they are and in spite of what we see, we know it is perfection. From there, life looks a whole lot different and our inner perceptions begin to be made from our new perspectives.

From there, nothing is impossible and everything is perfection.

Meg Blackburn, Ph.D. the author of “Conversations with the Children of Now, the International Bestseller “The Children of Now, Crystalline Children, Indigo Children, Star Kids, Angels on Earth and The Phenomenon of Transitional Children”, “Pyramids of Light, Awakening to Multi-dimensional Reality” and the “Online Messages”. She is also a contributor to “The Mystery of 2012 Anthology”. Dr. Meg’s online radio show, “Continuum”, broadcasts from shirleymaclaine.com. She is a regular contributor to numerous publications. She has recently served as a consultant to Good Morning America and 20/20. Her web site is www.spiritlite.com